Statistics
by Yudis
Summary: Sometimes walking away isn't as easy as one would hope. Angsty oneshot written for a friend. AkuRoku.


**Disclaimer:** Everyone knows that Disney and Square Enix own Kingdom Hearts and the sexy men in it. Don't rub it in.

**A/N:** Okay, this oneshot was written for a friend who wanted a songfic. She gave me the song, and I just worked around it to the best of my ability. The song is called **Statistics** by the band **Madina Lake**. Also, this is the first real thing that I've written in about four years, so bear with me on it. Long term writer's block majorly sucks. And if the formatting is all screwed up forgive me. I've tried fixing it and it keeps showing up all funky on my screen. Alright, /end rant. Enjoy!

* * *

_You're a wolf, you are  
Dressed like a fox,  
Got me tied up in knots  
Over you but I think  
That I'm just a flavor  
You crave on instinct  
'Cause you don't feel ashamed  
But it won't make a difference_

Roxas watched as Axel casually slinked over to him, his eyes running up and down the redhead's form before he offered a nervous smile. Axel was dressed all in black, with faded jeans and a button-up shirt that was halfway open, exposing the creamy skin underneath. He was barefoot, just like Roxas himself was, and his vibrant and messy hair was tied back – even though a few strands hung in his face – with a simple scrunchie.

Shifting on the faux leather couch, Roxas moved his fingers through his blond hair and focused his bright blue eyes on the beer bottle in his hand. The boy tensed when Axel sat beside him, catching his lower lip between his teeth and worrying it slightly. He felt Axel's warm body press up against his, making his chest constrict in an almost painful manner, and he grasped the bottle as if for support. Tilting his head to the side, he watched the taller male, his face curious and slightly panicked.

He shouldn't have been so surprised when the redhead leaned forward to capture his lips in a searing kiss, but he still gasped at the intimate contact. It was definitely not the first time that they had kissed – in fact, they had already done so much more -, but Roxas still took in the fact that his palms were slick with perspiration against the bottle and his heart was pounding madly against his ribcage. Axel's hand had begun to play with the hem of his shirt, his slender fingers slipping under the fabric and gently caressing the tawny skin of Roxas's abdomen. Roxas broke away from the kiss, his face flustered as he tried to quickly regain his breath.

"Axel, stop… I don't understand." The taller male gave the blond a questioning look before delving forward to nip and suck at the tender skin near his collarbone. Roxas gasped, one hand moving to grip the edge of his seat while the other struggled to keep the bottle from falling to the floor. "Axel, stop. Please."

Axel gave a frustrated grunt instead of an actual reply, and he stopped what he had been doing, but his face never pulled back from Roxas's neck. The boy let out a small breath that he hadn't been aware he was holding, and he placed the beer bottle on the coffee table where he knew it would be safe from tipping.

"I thought that you were with Namine. Why –" Axel cut the smaller male off by pressing their lips together, his piercing green eyes staring into worried ones the color of the sky. When they pulled apart, Axel's tone was uninterested.

"Of course I am. But tonight I want _you_. Don't make a big deal out of it, kid." And with that he pushed Roxas back onto the couch and crawled in between his legs, his hands already roaming over the thin body under his. And even though Roxas wanted to protest and yell and push Axel away, he kept quiet, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. Axel didn't care if he hurt Roxas.

And the sad part was that Roxas didn't either.

_I've been wrong so many times  
Let's be realistic.  
I'm only a statistic to you.  
And it hurts so deep inside  
Maybe I'm sadistic  
I love when you inflict it on me_

What followed was nothing more than wild, unbridled, and animalistic sex. At least on Axel's part that's how it had been. Roxas had just lay there and let the redhead have his way, because he knew that not only was Axel damn near impossible to stop when he got like this, but also because he didn't want him to stop. He knew how perverse and unhealthy their 'relationship' was, and yet he didn't have the balls to call Axel out on his twisted little games. Or so he told himself that he didn't stop Axel because he was fearful of the other's anger.

Roxas knew why he really didn't stop him, though. He was just too scared to admit it to anyone. Axel had control over him because he was the only person who had ever shown Roxas any sort of attention, even if it wasn't the best kind. Deep down, Roxas felt that the way Axel treated him was an eccentric form of caring. Or so he would tell himself over and over. Roxas had asked Axel before if he loved him, but he had only managed to elicit laughs from the redhead in response.

Axel had almost immediately disappeared after their little session, and Roxas lay on the couch with a sweaty daze, his stomach stained with the result of Axel's ecstasy, and his eyes clouded over. The blond could hear the faint sound of water from the bathroom down the hall, and he gave a half smile as he envisioned a naked Axel in the shower.

Forcing his weak limbs to move, Roxas stood and he padded across the apartment and paused at the bathroom door before pushing it open. He stared at the man through the almost clear vinyl of the shower curtain before he stepped over and pulled it back slightly, his eyes shining with a bit of happiness. Just as he was about to step behind Axel, however, the redhead turned and looked at him, then nudged him back by the shoulder.

"I need you out. Namine's coming over tonight." Roxas just stood there as the curtain was pulled shut again, and he could feel the sting of rejection deep in his chest. He bit down on the inside of his cheek and rubbed at one of his sky blue eyes, trying to keep the tears back.

The boy hurried to collect his clothes, putting them on haphazardly and ignoring the way that Axel's bodily fluids made his shirt stick to his skin. He felt so hurt, like a worthless toy. To Axel he was nothing more than a pawn in this cat-and-mouse game.

The blond stopped at the door and then turned back slowly to glance at the couch, then at Axel's clothes still thrown on the floor. He knew he would be back before the week was out. Axel would want him back and he would go without questioning it. That just meant he was wanted, right?_  
_

_You can take my time  
'Cause after all  
The Earth's just a ball  
That revolves around you  
And all my friends and family try to warn me  
But like a moth to a flame  
Darling, lead the way  
'Cause I'm afraid of change  
So meet me in your bedroom._

Roxas had been catching up on some work for class when his cell phone went off, the familiar tune of Vivaldi's _Four Seasons_ breaking the silence. Reaching out blindly, the blond retrieved the electronic device from his backpack, which had been thrown by his feet when he sat down. Without even looking at the screen, the boy pressed the 'call' button, holding the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he continued with his work.

"Hello?" he spoke into the mouthpiece, his mind unfocused until he heard of smooth and low voice on the other line. "Axel? Oh, wow, hi. I didn't think you would call." A pause. "Am I busy? No, of course not." There was another pause as Roxas closed his book and pushed it aside, his work forgotten for the time being. The man on the other end was speaking, and Roxas just listened like he was expected to.

After several minutes he murmured a muted 'yes' into the phone and then turned it off, running a hand through his spikey locks and then standing. His heart was racing. Axel had invited him over, and he had spoken so kindly that Roxas could of course not turn the man down. Maybe this time it would be different. He would try to be stronger and _make_ it different. He would get Axel to see him as a person of worth.

Digging around in the top drawer of his desk, the boy procured a small aluminum can of body spray. Looking at it, he shrugged one shoulder at himself and then spritzed some into the air. The smell wafted around him and he inhaled its comforting scent for several seconds before walking through the lingering mist. It was subtle enough that way that only someone within a very close proximity could detect it.

The young male took the stairs two at a time on his way down, and he was almost to the front door when a voice from the adjacent kitchen stopped him. Roxas turned to find his brother Cloud leaning against the wall, his brows furrowed and a slight frown gracing his pouty lips. Cloud knew about Axel. More importantly, Cloud knew how Axel treated Roxas, and yet there was nothing that the older blond could say to dissuade his brother from what he was about to do.

"You're going over there, aren't you?" The voice was hard, but sad, and Roxas just gave a bitter smile, his hand on the doorknob. He hesitantly nodded, and Cloud turned away with a disgusted look upon his visage. Roxas knew that it pained his brother so much that he was letting a lowlife like Axel take advantage of him so openly. Before fully disappearing back into the kitchen, however, Cloud stopped and he looked over his shoulder, his eyes inquisitive. "Why do you let him do this, Rox? Haven't you suffered enough?"

Roxas weighed the question before he answered. He had asked himself that very thing countless times, and he always found himself with the same answer. His smile faltered for just the briefest of seconds, as did his resolve, and then he turned the hand that was on the knob and opened the door. He could no longer make eye contact with his brother.

"I'm afraid of what will happen if I leave him."

_I've been wrong so many times  
Let's be realistic.  
I'm only a statistic to you.  
And it hurts so deep inside  
Maybe I'm sadistic  
I can't get myself off on you.  
I'm only a statistic to you.  
I can't keep myself off of-_

The walk to Axel's apartment seemed oddly longer for some reason. It was probably due to the fact that Roxas's legs felt like lead, and Cloud's words still hung heavily in his mind. He could understand where his brother was coming from, and he appreciated how protective the man was, but he wasn't so sure that Cloud completely understood the situation.

Or maybe he himself didn't understand it. Roxas ran a finger over his neck, right behind his ear, where Axel had bitten down particularly hard the previous night. It had bruised the skin there, he had noticed when he looked in the mirror, but Roxas didn't mind. Any marks that Axel bestowed upon him he looked at as a sign that he belonged to someone; he was wanted just enough that someone would be with him in such an intimate way.

Minutes later, the boy stood in front of a large brownstone, looking up at the fading bricks. His eyes followed a drainpipe up to a window on the third story. It was the window in Axel's bedroom, he knew. His blue eyes remained trained on the object for several more minutes before he forced himself to look away. He ran a hand through his unruly hair and then sat down on the front steps of the building.

Night was steadily approaching and the temperature was dropping. He had forgotten his jacket in his rush to leave the house, but the slight chill didn't bother him. He was too wrapped up in thinking about what he should do concerning the redhead. His mind was conflicted; he didn't want to ever stray from Axel's side, but the rational part of his brain was screaming that his obsession was beyond unhealthy and he would only end up regretting it later.

The boy sat on those steps and he battled against his conscience until he felt that his head would most likely explode. He eventually stood, staring up at the darkening sky where the beginnings of a pale moon protruded from behind the cover of lingering clouds. The wind ruffled his hair and he considered turning back and heading home, but pushing that thought aside he squared his shoulders and entered the building, making his way to the third floor.

_I just caught you like a disease  
It's terminal and I'm going down  
But you're a fate that's worse than death  
And I gotta get out of this mess  
You're a wolf, you are. You are._

Axel had been wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants when he greeted Roxas at the door, that trademark smirk on his features. The small blond tried to smile back, but it was forced. He stepped into the apartment without being invited in, sidestepping Axel and then forcing his hands into his pockets.

The redhead closed the door and turned on his heels, tilting his head to the side as he watched Roxas with an almost amused expression. The boy let his eyes rake up the other's well-defined stomach and chest, taking his time before he chanced a look at those vibrant green eyes. Axel really was a looker.

The man moved towards him and Roxas involuntarily took a step backwards, making the lanky male stop. The smirk had been replaced with a tight frown, and Axel's hand shot out to grab onto Roxas's shoulder tightly. Roxas licked over his full bottom lip and then he placed his own smaller hand over the one that was holding him in place.

"Axel, I want to talk to you." A slim red eyebrow rose in questioning, but other than that nothing was said in response. This gave Roxas the slightest bit of courage, and he pressed on, his hand moving up towards Axel's bicep. He felt the muscle flex beneath his fingers and smiled, loving the feel of that warm flesh. He continued to caress the skin there, eventually moving to the redhead's chest.

"Well?" Axel prompted at last, seeing as Roxas hadn't said a word. This pulled the smaller boy out of his reverie and he pulled his hand back as if he had been burned. He vaguely heard Cloud's voice in his head asking him if he had suffered enough. Roxas hung his head and then took a deep breath.

"I won't do this anymore, Axel. I – I can't. It's too hard." He felt his breath still when the other chuckled in an almost dark fashion, but pushed forward. "If I can't be the only one then… I'm going to l-leave." Roxas hated the way that his voice trembled at the end, and he dug his blunt nails into the skin of his palm.

"Is that so, Rox? You're gonna leave me all alone? How sad." Axel's lips quirked into a mock frown before he broke out into a sneering smirk. "Let me tell you something, little boy. I could have anyone that I wanted. I have Namine, and other little sluts I fuck on the side. Consider yourself lucky enough to even earn some of my attention. You want to leave? Then go ahead. The door's right there. Just remember, I might not be as willing to take you back the next time around."

Roxas froze, and he could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest, making it difficult to think straight. He held a hand up to his breastbone and he swallowed dryly, trying to get his mind to stop spinning. He had hoped that Axel would have cared just a little about him leaving. The rejection was almost too much to bear, but he kept the tears that threatened to fall at bay. He knew that he should have walked right out of that apartment and never once looked back, but his feet were firmly planted to the same spot.

Axel had begun to turn away from the boy, and Roxas reached out before he had really even thought about it. Axel stopped and threw him a look over his shoulder that sent shivers down his spine. Slowly he began to move, his legs not fully cooperating with him when he needed it to. Axel just smirked again, this time a blatant gesture of victory, before his arm wrapped casually around Roxas's shoulders and steered the boy towards his darkened bedroom.

Roxas should have gotten out of there before it was too late. He should have been stronger like he had promised himself he would be. But soon Axel's lips were on his in a hungry and controlling kiss, and his body arched at the warm body over his in an act of betrayal. He was needy and he just wanted something to fill that void for him.

"You'll be the death of me," Roxas whispered into the slick skin at the base of the redhead's neck, clinging for dear life.

_I've been wrong so many times  
Let's be realistic.  
I'm only a statistic to you.  
And it hurts so deep inside  
Maybe I'm sadistic  
I can't get myself off on you  
I'm only a statistic to you._

"Don't you love me, Axel?" Roxas asked later that evening. He was tangled in the sheets and turned on his stomach in the redhead's bed, drawing small patterns on his pillow with his index finger. He was expecting to be laughed at again, but this time when Axel didn't answer, Roxas turned his eyes upwards. The older male seemed to think about it for a second.

"No," he finally stated, and he stared at the wall opposite from them where his plasma TV hung. When the blond spoke again it was far quieter and more hesitant.

"Do you think that you'll ever love me?" Again he was met with silence, but this time Axel had turned his head away, reaching for the pack of cigarettes that he always kept on the nightstand.

"Truthfully? Probably not." He lit up one of the slim, white sticks and then took a long drag. Roxas pressed his hand to his forehead and he closed his eyes, one crystalline tear slipping out before he could stop it. When he managed to open them again, he found that Axel was staring at him, but the man's handsome face showed close to no emotion. "Same time tomorrow then, kid?"

Roxas was quiet for the longest time while he pondered this, his bottom lip quivering. How could he possibly keep coming back after all the hurt and humiliation that he had suffered at the hands of such a ruthless man. The blond male glanced down, his blue wounded eyes refusing to meet those insensitive green ones.

"Yeah..."

_I think I'm addicted to you._

**

* * *

**

Reviews are awfully nice and appreciated, and make me want to possibly take up writing again!


End file.
